Should I finish this story?

hopscotch_story
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#1

This is a story written by me and SoaringFeathers a few months ago involving TrioArt members!

Should I finish it?

Here it is:

The Closet: A tale of true events involving SoaringFeathers, WhoNeedsAName, ChickenGirl, ilovechickens, Photographer123, Grizzlyzoe, and SweetTeaStuff.

A story originally written by WhoNeedsAName.

Rewritten by SoaringFeathers and WhoNeedsAName.

WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO
The ambulance speeding down WNAN GT Street could be heard for miles as it rushed to the scene where the Forum Medical Team was needed the most. Oh, what was the scene?

The home of ChickenGirl and ilovechickens.

As soon as the ambulance screeched to a halt outside of the twins’ house, a detective and a medic burst out of the back of the ambulance.

Medic SweetTea rushed to where an unconscious ChickenGirl was lying on the pavement. Moments later, Detective Photo rushed to ST’s side. “I already searched the house, and I can’t find her sister.” Photo reported.

Two more medics suddenly burst out of the ambulance. WNAN and SF knelt down next to ST. WNAN looked at CG. “She’s not breathing. We’re going to need to do CPR!”.

Everyone looked at each other.

“Not it.” everyone chorused.

“You guys are so immature! I’m dying here!” CG piped up.

Everyone stared at CG.

“Wait, how are you even talking? You’re unconscious, remember?” Photo asked.

“Oh, right. Sorry.” CG said, immediately falling back unconscious onto the sidewalk.

Suddenly a voice piped up. “You guys, CPR won’t help her. What she needs is a new General Topic!”.

Everyone turned around to stare at the newcomer.

“The name’s Bond. James Bond.” the woman said solemnly.

“Er……” SF said skeptically.

“Fine, whatever. You really ruined my cool moment, you know.” The woman glared before extending out a hand occupied by a badge. “I’m Liza. Liza from The Department of Hopscotch.”.

“This is my partner, Officer Grizzlyzoe.” Liza nodded.

A woman skipped up towards the group with a big smile on her face. “Hi, guys! GZ at your service.” She grinned.

ST leaned in and whispered into SF’s ear.
“Are you sure they’re cops?”

WNAN leaned in and whispered, “Only one way to find out”. She gave a nod to Photo who stepped forward and cleared her throat.

“Ahem. Ladies, if you’re really cops…where’s your donuts?” Photo asked suspiciously.

Everyone groaned.

“Never mind, Photo. It doesn’t matter. We need all the help we can get, even if these two might be some psycho murderers.” WNAN sighed.

“Dang it, our covers blown” GZ sighed.

Everyone gaped at her.

“I was kidding.” GZ said, raising an eyebrow.

Everyone gave a sigh of relief.

“Or am I?……” GZ said under her breath.

No one heard her and an awkward silence filled the air until Liza finally spoke up.

“Anyways, as I was saying. CG doesn’t need CPR. She needs a brand new General Topic. The reason why she collapsed is because her GT is dying. She tried to fix it by editing it, but as you can see, it didn’t exactly work.”

“But we can’t make a new topic, we don’t know CG’s password!” ST said.

“I’m already hacking her account with SF, we’re good!”

Everyone turned to Photo where she had a full setup complete with computers showing codes and lots of words. SF was at her side sitting on a chair typing away.
With a click, SF smiled. “Done! Her password was…”

SF squinted. “I love my Guinea pigs and all my sugar gliders and…” SF shook her head. “Never mind.”

WNAN turned back to Liza and Grizzly. “Ok, so. We just name the GT now and she awakes?”

Liza fidgeted. “Not exactly…Grizzly explain.”

Grizzly stopped smiling and started to speak. “In order to wake her, you must name it, yes. But…the name must be filled with what the GT would be about…things she liked…her activities…stuff like that.”

ST smiled. “Easy, then! We find someone who knows her well. Like….her sister!”

Photo cheered. “Alright! Let’s go fi-“
“Um…guys? Remember, her sister is missing.” Liza said slowly.

Silence filled the air. Grizzly leaned in. “I wonder where she would be…”

“Well, if I had a twin sister, I would probably always get annoyed with her and stuff her in a closet or something.” Photo joked.

Grizzly patted her new friend on the back. “Photo, you are so smart!”

Photo stopped smiling. “Wait, I was right- I MEAN OF COURSE I WAS RIGHT! Psh, it was easy to figure out.” Photo smugly crossed her arms.

SF started toward a van parked on the road. “Well, lets suit up and go inside.” Everyone went in, gathering their supplies. ST tossed walkie-talkies to everyone while WNAN handed out cameras to attach on their bodies.

As the group started to the house, Liza halted. “Um, wait. Where’s photo?”
Suddenly the van door swung open. Photo did a summersault out of the van dressed in black with a laser in one hand and nun chucks in the other.

Carrying a backpack and a camera attached to her head, she did a flip towards the group. “Oh, sorry. I found some stuff in the back of the van and got carried away.” She pointed a taser at ST. “I wonder what this is.”

“Ok, that’s enough.” WNAN steered Photo towards the house. “We are just looking for the girl.”

Everyone walked inside and went upstairs, searching the bedrooms. “Don’t see anything.” ST sighed.

As everyone was about to give up hope, a scream was heard from CG’s bedroom. Everyone rushed there, thinking of the possible worst things. When they got there, they didn’t see anything alarming.

Grizzly looked up smiling. “I found a huge loose board. And gee, when I lifted that board…” She ripped off a part of the floor and revealed a tied up ILC. “What do you know.”

SF reached and ripped off the duck tape on ilc’s mouth.
“Thank god! Thank you! My sister and I got into a tiny fight so she pushed me in here.”

SF squinted. “This has happened before, it looks like. Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

ILC’s shrugged. “I have done it a few times to her, so I’m not that angry. She hasn’t left me in here for more than an hour usually.”

ST backed away a little. “Er, ok. That’s nice.”
Liza reached and pulled ILC out of the boards.

“We need your help. What’s your sisters personality like?”
ILC shrugged. “Why?”

WNAN sighed. “Because it’s going to help save your sisters life.”

END OF CHAPTER 1.

TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK PLEASE.
this involves
@ilovechickens @ChickenGirl @SoaringFeathers @photographer123
@SweeTeaStuffz @Grizzlyzoe


#2

I vote continue.

If you need another character I’ll be in it. If not it’s fine lol.


#3

Im probably going to add more characters, and ill be sure to put you in it if i do! :smiley:


#4

It’s a great story!
I would read it if you continue it.

could you maybe add me?

I can’t wait to see what happens lol


#5

Thank you!


#6

Yes please continue I love this story with all of my heart


#7
  1. Finish it
  2. B L A C K J A C K F L A S H B A C K S

#8

ahhhh finish it I love this story it’s beautiful


#9

Finish it, it’s wonderful so far! I like the buildup for the characters, :D


#10

Oh heck ya continue! ILC is back now to, so she can fully appreciate my criminal activity in the story XP


#11

I like it so far, so finish it if you want to. It would be really cool! :slight_smile: I made a poll for you:

  • Don’t continue the story.
  • Continue the story.

0 voters


#12

aha heck yes

I’m actually a spy ;DDD

actually no no


#13

This is hilarious and witty! Continue it! I would totally love to be a character in it. Could I be some evil guy that gets tangled in the crime and everyone thinks it’s him, but then it’s not? Or that they think it is, then it’s not, but then it turns out he is? I love the bad guys in stories. @WhoNeedsAName


#14

I love my character XDD she’s so

A M A Z I N G

lol not


#15

I like the story idea and the characters however, the comedy is done better in some places than others (just some friendly criticism, I want you to be better, not to put you down).

This was good. The “or am I” afterwards took it a little too far though. You could’ve had GZ smile awkwardly so that the reader isn’t sure whether or not GZ is evil (I’m assuming not, for now :P)

I also thought that the part where CG wakes up and then falls back unconscious really took away from the story and made it too much like a Saturday Morning cartoon script (unless that was what you were going for)

Otherwise, I loved when Photo asked where the donuts were, it was a great line.

The James Bond was quite good.

I can’t really see where the story will go from here unless there’s trouble with ILC giving details about her sister.

My favourite character so far is Photo. If I’m ever a character, let me be friends with her character :0

(I’d happily help you write it if you don’t mind :grin:)


#16

You should definitely finish this story!!


#17

:000 ahhhhhhhHHHHHhhhhhh what?? thank you!!

even tho I’m not the character. still


#18

If you continue the story, can we be in it?? Also, this story is really funny and interesting!


#19

I dunno, you’re written perfectly.

You’ve got the best lines and you somersaulted out of a van with “some stuff” you found.


#20

This looks cool. Can I be In it?