My First Hopscotch Book!

books

#1


Any Suggestions, put the in the comments below!


#2

It's really good, but a rule of thumb is no emojis unless it's a name (ex. A Happy Coder :smiley:)

Also, it's good to not put exclamation points unless it's dialogue/thoughts ("Wow!" he said) or something like a sound (Crash!)

It's your story, that's just some tricks I've learned.


#3

Stampy_fans?
Stampys_fans!
(thanks for choosing me though)


#4

Better?


#5

Yep!


#6

Ahh, my editing OCD is itching...but better!


#7

Just let it out we are supposed to learn from each other


#8

It's just minor things but...

-there's some slang (cool can be substituted)
-commas should be in some places (such as after 'when out of nowhere')
-unnecessary space between cool and comma
-Hopscotch should be capitalized
-unnecessary space between Hopscotch and comma

Sorry :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:


#9

Ok, just remember let it all out on here @CreativeCoder


#10

Do you want me to type it all on here then you can fix it?


#11

Yeah, you should copy and paste it, then I'll copy, edit, then I'll paste it here


#12
               The Coding Incident

By:Fun_in_the_Sun
Stampys_Fans was at home trying to make the finishing touches on his game. When out of nowhere The Hopscotch Team started following him. He decided to finish so The Hopscotch Team thought he was cool , but when he published it it crashed once, twice and a third. He emailed hopscotch , but they said there was nothing to do. Then...
TO BE CONTINUED?


#13

Add more details, and try to explain everything, such as:
The moss below my feet was soft, like a pillow. The sky was a dark maroon- it seemed obvious to me that the end was near. I tear trickled down my face, which I cleaned with the heel of my hand. My other hand clasped around the gun in my belt. Time.
That way, your story would be more interesting and keep your readers's fingers gripped in each page, awaiting the next one!
Good job so far, though!


#14

So now @LotsaPizza you can edit it


#15

By:Fun_in_the_Sun
Stampys_Fans was at home, trying to make the finishing touches on his game. When out of nowhere The Hopscotch Team started following him. He decided to finish his game, so The Hopscotch Team thought he was cool (really?) , but when he published it it crashed once, twice and a third time! He emailed support@gethopscotch.com , but they said there was nothing to do. Then...
TO BE CONTINUED?
(you know my gender?)


#16
           The Coding Incident

By:Fun_in_the_Sun
....Stampys_fans was at home, trying to put the finishing touches on his game. When out of nowhere, The Hopscotch Team started following him. He decided to finish it so The Hopscotch Team thought he was good at coding, but when he published it it crashed once, twice, and a third. He emailed Hopscotch, but they said there was nothing to do. Then...
TO BE CONTINUED?

(The dots in beginning are for an indentation, you can't do it on here)

There's some editing


#17

To late, MUA HA HA HAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!


#18

Thank you @CreativeCoder and @Stampys_fans for helping me


#19

Your welcome! (I think you admire from something, I might be wrong but I think you do...)


#20

By:Fun_in_the_Sun
Stampys_Fans was at home, trying to make the finishing touches on his game-2048 5x5 mode-When out of nowhere The Hopscotch Team tapped the follow button on SF's profile, following him. He decided to finish his game, so The Hopscotch Team thought he was superb , but when he published it it crashed 3 times in a row! He emailed support@gethopscotch.com , but they said there was nothing to do. SF even tried to use guided acess and kept trying to publish it. Then...
TO BE CONTINUED?
(put in more detail)