Leaving Hopscotch Forum


#1

Hi. Smishy. Is. Here.
Woah guys, have you realized, the forum isn't the same? Anyone? Anyone? Nope? Yes?
I suppose some of you have figured this out. There's lots of drama, people are hating in other people. People are leaving. And I usually care a ton more and try to 'help' but no. I'm just so out of it and I really am not caring like I normally would do at a time like this. I don't want anyone being hurt by others in here, being hated on. That's horrible. Stop. Just leave the fight.
I mean come on we can agree that 99.9% of the fights here are other something either extremely ■■■■■■, or something you won't remember or care about in the next 10 years. We all need to grow up at some point.

This next part is about really serious, touchy subject maybe triggering stuff so if you cannot handle that please exit this topic thanks.

Has anyone noticed me? Anyone? I'm not myself? Yeah? Nah? I mean, I can fake being who I was in the summer, but after the summer something happened. Something snapped. It started with this one opinion, knew thought in my head. It was "Why am I in the forum". Yep. That was it. The one that broke myself. I felt that I couldn't do anything important that would matter to the world on a kids app forum that most likely wouldn't be here in the next 10 years.
So I sorta left sorta became inactive. Things were ok. I tried thinking of what things I could do to make a difference in the world right. Yeah. I couldn't come up with anything. Either we wouldn't have the money or my parents would say no. And after that I was like, well, if I can't do anything for the world, why am I here. Yep. Here's where the serious and touchy stuff begins so please exit thanks. Ok. I'm going to move into another thing for a minute. My life has been extremely bad recently. Extremely bad. By recently I mean from August, 2015, and now, November, 2016. 5 people in my family have died, I had to go to a funeral yesterday. Watching someone loose their memory is extremely emotionally painful. I have an anxiety disorder in top of all that. And I know I'm going to get bla bla bla how you don't know this or that, your self diagnosing, etc. No, stop. I have a therapist but it's still bad. I can minimize it. But it's still always there and it hurts. I'm traumatized of telephone calls, because the only calls I remember are the ERGENT ones either saying what my grandma is not feeling well, she didn't eat dinner, etc. Or phone calls from other relatives telling my family somebody died. But basically when life is bad and you know that your always going to overthink everything or something's going to happen. Etc. So... I was suicidal at that point but I didn't have the guts to actually commit ■■■■■■■ as much as I wanted to, planned it out in my head or in a google doc. I knew I didn't no have any guts whatsoever, or even a chance.
And then on top of everything I became sad. Like rlly sad. Like, I've never been sad for this long sad. And I've never had confidence. Whatsoever, no confidence, I always hated myself for everything I did, what I looked like, my mistakes. I self harmed starting in first grade, before even knowing what self harming was! I'd bang my head on hard objects for hours and hours a day bruising it badly. I've never really had any self esteem whatsoever. But recently it's like, I don't know who I am. I question why I go to bed feeling super sad or suicidal, I wake up optomistic and happy, then throughout the day I become sad and start fake smiling. I'm not myself anymore I'm always sad, I've been waking up earlier and going to bed later, overall I'm not me. I don't know where my life, optimism, and overall self went. But it doesn't look like it's coming back.

That was long but I needed to get that out rlly bad.
I'm being inactive and eventually leaving. I didn't want to leave having the outlook on the forum as I do now, but it's not something I want to or enjoy being a part of. I'm just going to ruin it saying stuff like I just did anyway.

So overall, goodbye. Might pop in every once in a while.


#2

First like and reply!
No,Smishy!


#3

Hi Smishy,
Sorry about what happen.
Sorry for everything!
I hope you feel better :slight_smile:


#4

I'm so sorry for you. I'm always here for you when you need a fren.

I'm so sorry for you.


#5

Ok bye. The forum isn't the same anymore and I don't like it. I have no friends and I can't really code anymore....;-;


#6

Goodbye, Smishy.

It's surprisingly hard to say, but goodbye.

You're such an amazing person, and if you can be this great of a friend over the Internet, you must be a crazy great person and friend irl.
You've influenced this community so much, and I'm glad that I got to join the forum before you left/became more inactive.

I'm so sorry for everything that happened, and I'd help if I could. The most help I can give is virtual hugs and comforting words.
So sends virtual hug.

But Smishy, you've always been there for me. Thank you for an amazing time talking with you, laughing with you, and "dying" with you.
I don't think I'll ever forget.


#7

Goodbye Smish.
I'll miss you a lot.
And maybe.. I'm someone that can help you?
I've had really suicidical thoughts before, and it's painful. Never thinking you're good enough for anyone.. but believe me here, you are.
YOU ARE.
If you need someone to talk to.. I'm here.


#8

Geez, I'm actually starting to cry...XD

Okay, here goes, Thanks for always being there for me, helping me, teaching me, learning with me, being frens with me when I was lonely, there's really countless things that you did for me. Please don't go. You might think I'll forget you sooner or later. But I won't. If you leave, you won't be here to celebrate my birthday, you won't be here when I get my regular badge. You won't be here when your frens need you. Trust me, I don't have a lot of self-confidence, I think that if I take a break I will immediately be forgotten. But that's not true. Everyone cares about you, Smishy, even if you don't think so, it's true. Really true. Every celebration that happens on the forum won't be the same without you. If you leave, I'll never see you again. Never. Ever. Ever. EVER. And I'm actually crying now. Well, your a great person. And I only know you on the internet. But I would love to know you irl. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you. I care about you, @Smishy. And I can't believe I have the guts to say this, but if it's true,

Goodbye, I guess. :sob:

I will always be here when you need me, I will never forget you, you are so amazing, kind, helpful, funny, smart, there is countless words to describe you. I guess, farewell. Hasta la vista. See ya. Adidos. ;-;


#9

No, @Smishy. I remember, since I got back on here, that you and many others have inspired me, and you are one of them. A great hopscotcher too. Bye.


#10

I'm not good with words, but...

sends virtual hug

Stay strong, Smishy. Good luck with life.


#11

....
Goodbye, smishy. All the memories we've had together, every time I wished I could say something better to you, I can say it now if I needed to.
You are literally the friend that never leaves someone and I loved that so much. But you're leaving me. Which means something has taken out a piece of my heart and stolen it.
But I still love you anyways.
......
Merry Christmas, Smishsmash, the queen of friendships. We'll miss you.


#12

Bye, Smishy! I will miss u! Have fun in life, even if you forget about us! We will always think of you even when you're gone. Enjoy the gift of life- don't waste it!
We will remember you, Smishy!!


#13

Bye Smish, I'll always remember you ;-;

I'll miss you loads ;-;


#14

Goodbye.
I'll miss you, but I hope you'll get happier by leaving. I really hope you do.


#15

@Smishy, I wish I new you IRL, if you went to my schooo, I would help you as much as I can. But it's hard because this is Hopscotch Forum. I will miss you senpai. We all will. ;-; ;-;


#16

Okay, Smishy. I understand. It's not your fault all this is happening. It's not your fault because you're going to hard time, and you're not there to stop all this. It's okay. I'm not ever there. Im scared of flames and flags. You and Disky have a veree good reason to leave. Any maybe I will.

You are an amazing friend, and I respect your deseieion to leave. You are kind and impacted the forum so much. It makes me sad to see my role models leave, but here I am, thinking that even I will leave someday. Im not going to stay here forever. I know that you might have the same thoughts as well. I ask myself as well why I'm even on the forum and horrifying my eyesight, when I can help others instead. When I can read abiout something happy, not flame wars.

You impacted me so much. You were always so funny. You were always there for me to talk to. You were always a great senpai, friend, Andy role model. Your personality will make everyone smile. When I'm down, I turn to you with XD's and :D's.

You always looked happy, and when you are down, you try to stay positive, which the whole community appreciated. You were an amazing friend, coder, and role model. :D

You are srsly amazing, but it's your desecieon to leave. I'm respecting that. This makes me want to leave since there is so much drama that can't really be fixed. Bye Smishy.


#17

NO SMISHY ;-;

It's your choice but you are my FRENPAI and will forever be mine


#18

Same here.

So sorry I only read this now @Smishy.

Hope things get better for you ;-;

Bye Frenpai


#19

Wow... I just saw this:/

Goodbye


#20

That ruined my birthday.
I saw it and started to cry.
Smishy was an amazing friend.