Hopscotch writing/stories compared to normal writing/stories (plot, characters, etc.)



Here, you can share Hopscocth stories and other forms of writing and normal stories and other forms of writing (not about Hopscotch)! You could share a finished story, or one your working on! You can post one your working on in school, who knows! I have been dying to do this! :smiley:

PS: You can also ask for suggestions or Constructive Criticism too!




Here is one I have been working on! Any suggestions?

Click here to see it!


Tags @tankt2016 and @Candycane


Wow, this sounds awesome! I'll stalk this topic so I can read everyone's storys. :sunglasses:


Looks really good! Don't have time to read it fully but it seems great at skim reading!


That's pretty good! I would try a more exciting beginning, to hook people in. Also, don't have too much of a backstory in the first paragraph, and maybe make it a little more realistic. Other then that, it was great! I liked the vivid imagery.


I love it! I read the whole thing! It is super intriguing! I really want to know what happens next.


Is this better? I appreciate the feed back!



I love it! Can't wait until it's done!


I'm making a Magic number game


I took off the chain around my neck, admiring the shining ruby. I brushed my chestnut hair away from my eyes as I gazed at the item that kept my power in check. That ruby, though small, held more power than you could ever imagine. I carefully set the necklace in the first desk drawer from the bottom beside my bed and, feeling paranoid, locked it inside. Rubbing my eyes and shooing away my fearful thoughts, I lay in bed, blissfully unaware of the immense power that sat inside of a desk drawer with a broken lock.


Bits and pieces of a dream floated through my head. A shadow, sneaking behind buildings and into alleyways. My necklace, shining like the midday sun. A tiny gasp and footsteps as I shifted in my sleep. An image of a broken necklace flashed through my mind, and I gulped, pushing the disconcerting picture out of my mind. “You’re being paranoid. It’s not going to happen,” I consoled myself, “You locked the drawer.” Still, the panicky, uncertain feeling continued to plague me. I didn’t talk much to anyone that day, itching to tell someone about my fears, but nobody could know about my power. They wouldn’t understand how it felt to be smaller than an ant or larger than life itself. After the third time I had walked into something thinking about my necklace, I’d had enough. Rubbing my head where a bump was forming, I ran up the stairs, skipping steps. I flew into my room and discarded the lock after hastily putting in the combination. I pulled open my drawer- and it wasn’t there. “My necklace!” I whispered. “It’s gone! How? Why? Where?” I asked aloud, voice rising with every word. It felt like my breath was being sucked out of me and I could hardly breathe.

It's for Language Arts. A superhero story!

Writing Collab!

I know it's a little bit nit-picky, but the end is annoying me. You used Zack for the end instead of Zach, as in Zachary. Sorry, for mentioning it. I'm a perfectionist. Anyway, that story is awesome. I need to read more!


As I said earlier, that's really good! It seemed like you used 'paranoid' a lot, maybe change one of them to another word?


Wooh! XD

I'll be on this topic sometimes! c:

I'll share a story soon! c:


Oh yeah, I wasn't sure. I used Zach originally, but then it kept auto corrects back to Zachary. I figured maybe that wasn't how you spelled it, I don't know. So I just used Zack.

Thanks! I will change it! I'm a little OCD about that kinda stuff too! :sweat_smile:


Awesome story, @Paydent12!!!
Just one thing. I'm a little OCD when it comes to writing........in the beginning paragraph you accidentally used has instead of had. Sorry. :sweat_smile:


I just realized that I used "paranoid" twice XD


I don't see it. Could you tell me where it is? Thanks!


Here's the prologue to a story I want to publish!

The Never-Ending

By: Maltese

Willow lives in a strange city called The Cease --- where nothing ends. Everything has a start, but nothing in Willow’s world ends. People never die, buildings stay on their foundations forever, and decisions can never be undone. No one knows how this strange form of magic could happen, nor who created The Cease. Willow, a fifteen-year old girl, arrived at The Cease at the age of three, and never knew how she got there. She was --and still is-- left in the hands of an adventure-seeking woman named Macy. She takes care of her as if she is her own mother, and with her strength, and with the many situations that occur around her, Willow now has to find her way and find her place in this world she calls home.


That's really good! Are you planning to self-publish it?