Gobli’s General Topic V 😔 [yeethaw]

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#3527

I used this and sdfgjskdfjgkqr

http://springhole.net/humor/awfulteenparanormalromance.htm


#3528

I am bookmarking this because one day im sure I will want to read this romance story when its like three in the morning and my brain literally cannot function enough to convince me not to


#3529

never mind I did it now

Summary

Terrible Teen Paranormal Romance Story

knew Hunky Mc Hunkster was different from the other boys at school.

She noticed it the very first time she laid eyes on him - there was something about the way he quickly jumped his index finger when he ate a lot of tiny plastic dinosaurs while crying into buckets and buckets of tears which aunt sally then used to knit sweaters for the poor feeble old homeless birds flying over the neighborhood . Also, he seemed to have an unusual knowledge about how to survive living on nothing but tiny plastic dinosaurs . And just last Tuesday after math, she saw him got thrown into the air by thousands of tiny parasitic moths as they all scrambled to greet their new leader .

There was something else she knew: she was in love with him. But she didn’t know how to win his affections, for he was always cold and distant.

One night, was reading the label of the crate of plastic dinosaurs that your great aunt sally tried to feed to you as you sat screaming, buckled into one of those baby carseats at age 15 about paranormal creatures when she realized the truth: Hunky Mc Hunkster was a monkey !

The next day after class, saw Hunky Mc Hunkster head off into a crate with an assortment of plastic dinosaurs floating down the river that your great aunt Sally spent the entirety of her natural born life trying to convince you was really a VIP club, however you had your doubts. ‘‘It’s now or never,’’ she told herself with resignation, and aggressively did an impressive amount of backflips before sticking on final landing and getting two perfect scores and one 5 from that lame judge who hates everything after him.

When she caught up to him, he was standing behind a skyscraper once know for being the tallest one to exist until stu<j>pid Mount Everest stole it’s crown.

‘‘Hunky Mc Hunkster, it’s me, . I… I have to tell you something… I love you!’’

He sighed deeply and stole a cart from a fruit vendor, and using a hockey stick and a baseball bat, both found laying on the curb, frantically paddled at the air only to slide backward down the large hill toward her. ‘‘Oh, , there are things you don’t understand about me.’’

‘‘I know more than you think,’’ she breathed. ‘‘I know that you’re a monkey .’’

‘‘It’s more complicated than that,’’ he said, staring into her fluffy eyes. ‘‘Love between your kind and mine is forbidden. They would destroy us both if they knew.’’

‘‘I don’t care,’’ said. ‘‘I could never live without you.’’

‘‘Really?’’

‘‘Truly,’’ she answered.

He reached up and gently caressed her thumb in his horrid hands. ‘‘I love you, too,’’ he whispered.

And then he kissed her. His kisses were like what happens when 7 year old you doesn’t know that plants don’t need excessive water intakes and thinks her seedlings are drooping because they’re thirsty but really they’re really actually drowning and then eventually they start to rot from the inside out-scented the hearts of tiny children until they are ultimately stomped on by the cruel boot of life itself upon her lips.

The days and weeks that followed were plastic dinosaur-like. They skipped through the fields of those you’d plotted against, convinced the ghost of your mother to haunt great aunt sally in a feeble attempt to momentarily escape her barrage of tiny plastic dinosaurs, and ate carrot seeds. It seemed that nothing could come between them.

One night while played checkers in the shambles of great aunt sally’s house when she had disappeared on one of her plastic dinosaur hauls, a the screams of the many tiny plastic dinsaurs being shoveled into the furnace by the child protection agents was heard from outside the the room where I stared at the ceiling, feeling lost and alone, only to be comforted by Rupert, the man I made up who enjoys eating the plastic dinosaurs I just couldn’t tolerate. he was a kind man, Rupert window. ‘‘They’ve found us,’’ Hunky Mc Hunkster whispered solemnly.

sighed. ‘‘At least we’ve had this short time together.’’

‘‘I won’t let them take you from me,’’ he promised.

As soon as he spoke, the enemy’s leader burst through the door. ‘‘Stand aside!’’ the leader ordered Hunky Mc Hunkster.

‘‘Never! She is my true love, and you will not take her from me!’’ Hunky Mc Hunkster stood defiantly between and the leader.

‘‘Then you will both die!’’

The leader lunged forward, but Hunky Mc Hunkster stood his ground. With a Aunt sally’s screaming as she was consumed by the small plastic dinosaurs in one of their many fits of absolute outrage often mistaken for plastic ness , he met the leader head-on. In a swift move, Hunky Mc Hunkster ripped off the leader’s ring finger and kicked him in the pinkie finger. Mortally wounded, the leader gasped and died.

Seeing their mighty leader fall to Hunky Mc Hunkster’s strength, his underlings panicked and ran away, disappearing into the night.

‘‘That was amazing,’’ breathed.

Hunky Mc Hunkster leaned down and gently brushed his lips against hers, his what happens when 7 year old you doesn’t know that plants don’t need excessive water intakes and thinks her seedlings are drooping because they’re thirsty but really they’re really actually drowning and then eventually they start to rot from the inside out-scented breath caressing her cheek. ‘‘Your love for me gave me the strength I needed. Now, everything is perfect.’’

‘‘Almost perfect…’’

‘‘Almost?’’

‘‘Everything would be perfect if you made me like you. I know you can do it.’’

‘‘Are you sure? If I did this, you’d never be able to a normal diet free from tiny plastic dinosaurs again.’’

‘‘I’m sure,’’ she breathed.

Hunky Mc Hunkster cartwheeled 's middle finger, allowing his very essence to flow into her body. She sighed, then yelled.

Soon, the transformation was complete. was now an angelic monkey , just like Hunky Mc Hunkster. Everything truly was perfect.

The End.


#3530

This seems oddly specific are u ok


#3531

:))


#3532

Ouch


#3533

hes mortally wounded! help him!


#3534

wait are they humans or moths or plastic dinosaurs or monkeys


#3535

yeah


#3537

I love when your in these moods


#3538

wow I’m mildly offended but yes

and wth happened to the polls


#3539

just so you know I like pistachio


#3541

You flatter me :sparkling_heart:


#3542

Where you seem to ramble on for minutes at a time without stopping


#3544

Dogs eat dog food hon


#3545

you’re trying too hard


#3546

you should go get ice cream
midnight is good ice-cream time if you ask me
not only do you get that rush of sugar, you also get that rush of adrenaline as you sneak downstairs, making it extra rush worthy


#3548

My sister would just eat a whole jar of sprinkles and just leave


#3549

plus eating food sends that good ol dopamine to your brain and we all know we need a little extra help there amiritehaha


#3550

you need some class to et sprinkles
put it the the cap of the container, and then throw it back like its no big deal