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#904

im screaming


#905

I cut the cake on my baby gender reveal party and the m&ms are actually squid eggs. “Its a squid!” Me and my gf callie shout in union. My family is sobbing. Everyone is cheering. Priam fire emblem and chrom fire emblem are there and drunk


#906

please make your own parodies of an anecdote of a gender reveal party


#907

“If we cut open the cake and the frosting is pink, it’s a girl. If its blue, it’s a boy!” I say to my friends, assembled tightly behind me. Excitedly, we slice the first piece of cake. The inside is pitch black. “Hm. That doesn’t bode well.” I say. Months later, my wife goes into labor. In the hospital, the doctor screams. Dark matter swirls out of the hospital room. My wife is consumed, eyes glowing with evil power.
“Oh.” I say. "It was a B̛͈͔͕̤̪̪͕̅̒͒̓̋̏̆̓ͅa̢̛̪̮̻̝͐̅͊̋͋͂͂̊b̷̧̤̹̲̤͛͑͐̏̍͐̾̾̏͢ỷ̧̟͉̗͑͊̓͆̚͝ͅ


#908

this is absolutely glorious.


#909

Last summer of 2018 my friend invited me to a gender reveal party. I agreed to go, i was bored and theres gonna be cake, right? I go there and the entire place looks like a scene kid threw up with all the ‘rawr xD’ posters and the odd music selection. Frankly i looked out of place in a vintage donkey kong 64 shirt

This didnt matter to me, cake did. So i waited and waited until they got to the reveal part. The father, after he appropriately * snuggles and kisses * his wife, cut open the cake. Inside was a potato. Everyone simultaneously xDs for how random it is. Is this a cruel god’s idea of a joke? Forcing me into a twisted reality?

Afterwards i went home and after crying in my sleep, i made this pringle meal:


#910

Why I can’t be popular in my school.

Homophobe: * says something offensive and uses slur *.
Me: You’re literally offending an entire group of people you don’t even know much about.
Homophobe: This is just a joke, what’s your problem?


#911

I swear I just winced.


#912

if that person’s fine with it i guess its ok


#913

When you go to hug someone but you both turn the same way and accidentally touch lips and it’s super gay and you’re still thinking about it hours later…


#914

I don’t like hugging, but this sounds very embarrassing.


#915


These pom pom things (weepuls?) are gay


#916

my crush totally friggin iGNORED me today. but what do i do? is it becuz i stare at her a lot? because i hv a crush on her? help me guys.


#917

g h g gguys I don’t know abou y’all but I’m not a romance expert I’m just really freakin gay


#918

I’ve never talked to another human being successfully in my life I can’t help anybody with social dilemmas :((


#919

: ( that’s sad.


#920

Does she know that? That you have a crush on her?


#921

96.5% sure she doesn’t .actually i hv no idea. maybe she just hates me for no apparent reason

i just need help.


#922

Ok I’m sorry… Have you talked to her? (Just a question, what gender/se xuality are you? Just so I get this right not to be intrusive)


#923

yup, sure have. and im a girl in an all girls school. before a competition in which i had to sing solo, she shook my hand firmly, looked into my eyes, and gave me a 1000 words of encouragement.

but after some weeks, idk what i did, but she started ignoring me.

if i said something to her, she would listen, but if im just there, she never says hi, just plain ignores.